Mugabe

A source close to The Blind View who wished to remain anonymous for what he said were ‘obvious reasons’ claims to have had inside access to some of the recent meetings that took place between Mugabe and Malema.

‘Most of the time they were discussing interior design’ he said. ‘Remember that Mugabe has been in the game for a long time and Malema is only just starting out.’

Mugabe who presides over the 193rd largest economy in the world, prides himself on having rid his country of Colonialists. Zimbabwe’s GDP is 1.9 billion dollars per annum while it is rumored that Mugabe has many billions stacked away in offshore bank accounts making him wealthier than everyone else in the country combined.

‘This is the kind of thing they were discussing’ said our source.

‘Mugabe explained that the word colonialism is like 9/11. As long as you keep reminding people about it you can do whatever you want.’

Rands- Julius on Education

It has been confirmed that Julius Malema’s visit to Zimbabwe is part of a ‘Study Tour’. As Zimbabwe is ranked 193 out of 193 countries in terms of GDP (PPP), coming in behind other economic giants like Burundi and Eritrea, and 187 in standard GDP terms, it is the obvious place to begin.

‘Some people think that I cannot learn!’ Malema told a group of reporters. ‘They like to say, ah that Malema boy, he failed Matric, he can’t even count to eleven! But I tell them, I can learn! I will learn from the best, and I will bring it back to South Africa.’

Dhoya Snijders:The Building of Borders

The Central Methodist Mission in Johannesburg was once perceived to be the flagship of the Methodist Church in Southern Africa. The massive, six-floor building was religiously clean with devoted spaces, unsoiled floors, and a hushed sanctuary. This is no more. In recent times, it has opened its doors to provide shelter for those who cannot find roofs elsewhere. Many of the needy individuals are foreign nationals, mainly Zimbabweans. After South Africa ‘hosted’ the xenophobic attacks of 2008, some 3000 people sought nightly refuge at bishop Paul Verryn’s church. Since then, as SA hung its head in collective shame, this number has halved - more than a thousand individuals still sleep in the hallways, on the stairs, on the floors of the church each night. On the streets, rumours of rape, abuse, corruption and violence are flung at the church. “That place,” a taxi-driver tells me, “it is Gomorra on earth!”.