This conversation took place at the Zoo Lake bowling club in Johannesburg, South Africa. Clive Woolsley is a 28 year old waiter who is soon leaving for Japan (any day now). Felix Mpofu is a 26 year old journalist from Rosebank. The two men were discussing President Jacob Zuma’s recent visit to London and how he was received by the British media.
Clive: Look at the paper here. They should pass a law to stop Zuma going overseas, its embarrassing!
Felix: A president who can’t leave the country isn’t a president.
Clive: A president who has more than one wife isn’t a president.
Felix: Um...
Clive: It’s like having Snoop Dogg as your president.
Felix: No, you can’t compare him to Snoop Dogg...
Clive: They're basically the same person!!
Felix: How??
Clive: Well...They’re black... and they both sing about having lots of guns.
Felix: You know, there are a lot of people who identify with Zuma. To call our elected leader a buffoon insults the whole country and the people who voted him in.
Clive: I didn’t vote for him. He doesn’t represent me. Voting is just The Man’s way of pulling the wool over your eyes bro.
Felix: So, you can see everything clearly? Tell it like it is then...
Clive: This story just confirms for me what ALL South Africans think, which is that we're ashamed to be South African.
Felix: Hang on, hang on! No, no, no, you can’t just make such sweeping, inaccurate statements like that!! Don’t forget, these headlines were written by the BRITISH PRESS: right-wing, colonial, conservative bigots who see everything from their very rigid and narrow-minded world-view. What you have here is two forces of buffoonery colliding... on the one hand you've got a guy who, certainly, is not the greatest representative of South Africa, but on the other hand we've got the white, conservative, colonial press who judge him strictly from their "colonial master" mindset. And as a South African, maybe you should be asking yourself why you instinctively take the side of THOSE buffoons over OUR buffoon?
Clive: Mmm... Ok, ok, so English people are all dumb, are they? So tell me... who's the South African Richard Dawkins then?
Felix: Richard Dawkins? Eish man... What has that got to do with anything?
Clive: If there's no God, then there's no right or wrong. Then we're both right.
Felix: Yeah... and we're both wrong...
