"The Cell phone number is not available on this network, please be advised that you will be charged double the normal call for hearing this message Enjoy your day”
Have you ever had one of those moments where you are just fed up with a service provider? It happened to me a month ago I was so sick and tired of my cell phone provider that I called in and told them to take a small walk down an very long path. One month later unexpectedly my phone gets cut and that’s it.
Never have I felt so lost as in that moment after it happened. Images flying out of new titles for horror films entered my head like, “The last call and connection lost (5 friends lose contact for more than 5 minutes one by one they get pieced off by the silence that surrounds them”, “Freddie prince junior and the Jonas brothers star in the crappest horror ever made coming soon to a DVD store near you”.
The next thought was how many people were trying to call me all the time. I devised an algorithm in excel that showed me the sum of people trying to call me per hour and after many formulas with words like if,count,ave and Vlookup I came to the conclusion that I had just made a spreadsheet that counted the days of the week and also that no one was calling me. It was the first time in a while I felt truly alone. You see the cell phone has become more than a telecommunication tool it has become a friend.
Walking into the office don’t want to talk to anyone? Look straight at your cell phone and keep walking. Want to get out of a boring training session on HR processes and how to access your salary slip online? Stuff it, fake the call and you are out of there. Best of all, if you want to chill in a bar by yourself and not look like a loser while waiting for your mates that always come late, yep that’s it, pretend to be doing something really crazy on your phone.
I had lost my friend and now in all those awkward situations I just had to man up and get the next best thing, something that looked like a phone and could be believable.
As the days went on life got simpler, plans weren’t made last minute, in fact they weren’t made at all. No one was desperately trying to get hold of me because they simply couldn’t. And then it happened: I realised this stuff up with contracts is actually a blessing in disguise! I was addicted and this was getting me out, cold turkey.
How many of you are truly addicted to your phone? Most of you probably answered no to that question and that is okay, keep denying it. Let me ask another question: Do you keep your phone on silent at the movies instead of switching it off? Do you leave the room for a second and upon your returning, the first thing you do is check your phone to see if there was a message? Do you constantly take your phone out of your pocket without even thinking to look at it even though you have your phone on vibrate and know no one has texted or called? Still think you are not addicted? Think again.
I want you to do the impossible: put your phone in a draw for one day and just try to live without it, for one day, that’s all, and see how it goes. I am sure it’s going to give you feelings of anxiety, maybe even scratching tendencies. Best thing to do is tie yourself to the bed and hold on, its going to be a long night.
Andrew “The Liberator" Levy
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